This ain't no pretty fairytale
by jessica alice cullen
Summary: Bella's life isn't perfect. Like everyone else, she's gone through problems and has dreams. Then she meets Edward, and everything starts to fall into place; she's found the one person she needs and longs for. But will he be around forever? BxE
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but if I did well Bella could have Jacob and me and Edward would be living happily ever after!!**

**Hey everyone!! .it's my first fanfic so please go easy on me!. .constructive criticism is welcome!.. but please nothing mean****JJ**

A long time ago, when I was five, I was told my first fairytale. Being at that young naïve age I believed what my mother had said straight away. About the princess, the castles, the happily ever after; I was convinced it happened to everyone, and would eventually happen to me.

How wrong I was.

It was about ten years after I'd first been read fairytales that I realised they were utter rubbish. They were made to give you happiness, a little bit of a story to keep you quiet when you were younger. But in fact, they just made you question life more after you'd read them, and then, when you realised they were wrong, and told you lies, it brought you unhappiness.

Like life, you just couldn't win. And just like my life, this ain't no happy fairytale.

After crying for several hours at the possibility of me never finding my love, my prince, my castle, and my happily ever after, I saw the world for the first time. I didn't ignore the news - for it was telling me the truth; I didn't ignore my parents - because they only wanted what was best for me. I was no longer living in my mind, where I was going to be the fairest of them all. I was growing up.

I grew up quickly, quicker than the others. I had to, because things started to go wrong. My parent's divorced; my mother then married into an abusive relationship; my father became ever distant, until he was a workaholic to hide his pain; and then there was me. Standing in the middle of the mess, trying to grasp at some control that wasn't there in the first place. I realised then what I'd realised before. Nothing is perfect and nothing is ever set in stone. Things change; and my life could change.

And it did.

When I look back at it, it was one of the best times in my life, even if bad things happened along the way. Because I met the one person that made my life, my broken, fragile life make sense. He gave me purpose; he gave me hope; he gave me everything I'd ever wanted. And as ironic as it sounds, I really thought he was my Prince Charming…

But will be here forever?

**Ya I know it's short but I promise next chapter will be longer!…if ye want a next chapter that is!!…please review and tell me wat ye think!**


	2. Songbird

**This chapter is dedicated to hayleyhoo my first ever reviewer!!**

I love to run, with the air wrapping itself around my body, desperately trying to get inside. It whips through my straggly, but sometimes curly hair, throwing it in directions that it isn't meant to go. And it feels refreshing, like a nice cold shower. It wakes me up; brings me to my senses, and lets me live in my happy place for a while. Because when you're running, there's nothing to think about except continually moving your legs along the path you're taking. It isn't hard; or trying; or confusing. It's one of the few things in my life which is easy. It's just simply moving… and when I'm moving, my worries seem to fade.

My mind in full of concerns, both useful and unneeded. But isn't everyone's? Everyone goes through difficult times, and everyone has at least one worry in their mind, something that'll take time to figure out. Everyone has. It's one of the few things that connect every human being on this planet. It doesn't matter that the reasons for the creases on our brows are different. It doesn't matter that some people have bigger problems than others. We are joined together - yet we always feel alone.

I've felt lonely, because for the last few years of my teenage years I was almost alone. Of course, I had my father with me, but he wasn't there. He was in body, but not in mind. He was constantly in a dream, probably going over ever minute detail of why my mother left. It killed him, but he still goes on. So far anyway…

But I'm running, not away from anywhere, just for leisure. The best way to get away from the things on my mind. With my earphones plugged securely in my ears, beautiful notes flowing into my thoughts and clouding over the ones that fog out my brain 24/7, I can finally relax.

And with that reassuring thought noted neatly in my mind, I make my way home.

"_One day I'll turn around,_

_And see your hand reach out,_

_Oh, I'm only fooling myself._

_But baby, when you smile,_

_It means you'll stay a while,_

_Maybe you'd save me now…"_

_-- 'Only Folling Myself' by Kate Voegele._

I shake my head sillily, with my shopping bags waving around in my hands as I sing along to a song on my Ipod. But it's always like this; singing is just in me somewhere. I can't imagine my life without my voice as it's soundtrack. And I've been told my voice is beautiful, mostly by my Dad, but hey - that's what Dad's are for.

I drop the shopping bags on the kitchen floor, with my earplugs still blaring music into my ears. After my run, I'd stopped off at the corner shop, bringing in some well needed groceries. I have to keep reminding myself I need to stock up my fridge - I've never really been good at remembering important things. Yet things are always on my mind. And I love to cook. Oh well, It's probably just a glitch in my brain.

Searching for my ipod, I take the earphones out, wrap them around the contraption, and slide it back into my jean pocket. Patting it safely inside, I proceed to pack away my shopping into my cupboards. After doing a bit of housework and feeling that my kitchen is pretty clean, I sink into the cushions of my sofa, glad for the rest.

I let my eyes close.

And I immediately go back to my childhood home. It's something that I've always done, because it makes me happy. I can feel the smile spread across my face just at the thought of that little home I lived in from ages 5 to 16. It was when my parents were the happiest people on Earth. They were together, and it seemed like everything was okay - but maybe I just couldn't see between the cracks. I know there was cracks; there had to be because when I turned 16 they got divorced. But still, to keep my childhood as easy as possible they smiled along with me, and I felt happy. Truly happy, which in turn made them happy. They truly care for me, and at first when they divorced, I was angry and upset. But times change, and now I see exactly why they did what they did. If you aren't happy in a relationship, you can't live like it's okay. They had to give it up, for another chance at happiness. I'd love to say that they were both happy now, but it's impossible. They'd probably be happier people if they were back together. The chances of that happening though, are slim.

But who am I to talk? My experience of relationships is hardly vast. I've been with a few guys - nothing remotely serious. They were mostly just crushes, and I've never felt love for anyone special. But I don't give my heart to people easily. I'm very easy to get along with, and if we connect I know we'll be friends, but giving your heart to someone; letting them hold your hearts key; signing away how you feel, isn't an easy thing to do - for me anyway. He'd have to be special. Extraordinary. And so far in my 22 years of life, I've not found him. Never the less, I'm still looking.

I shift in my position, twisting further into the couch, trying to get comfy. I kick off my Converse sneakers, letting my socked feet curl up against the other side of the sofa. And as I finally get comfy, I suddenly hear music blaring through my window. My eyes snap open to find one of my life long friends bouncing to the beat outside my window. I laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation. He knocks on the window loudly, pointing in the direction of the door, and signals for me to open it. I nod, releasing my feet from their confines on the couch, and throwing myself from my comfy spot. Sighing, I walk the few yards to the door, and through it open, the music flowing loudly through my doorway.

"Jasper." I greet him.

He smiles his contagious grin, flashing his LA white teeth. "Bella!"

I roll my eyes at him, partly laughing at the fact that he is so happy. He's always like this - I can't really remember the last time he looked sad. I used to be jealous of it, but I've seen how fake it can be. Because like everyone, he feels down sometimes. And I don't know why, but he feels like he has to cover it up. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who he really is. And then I think of all the years I've known him and shake my head. I know him better than anyone, and I love the 'best friend' title I hold.

I throw my arms around him in a hug and he quickly complies, the stereo flung around my back, hitting me, but not bad enough to cause a bruise. He looks at my face, concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

That's one of the loveliest things about Jasper; how caring he is. If you're down, he'll do something - anything you want - to make you feel better. He has this way of telling how you are feeling without you showing any signs of hurt or sadness. It's really incredible, and it still astounds people he meets. He's almost a psychic. But he cares about me a lot, more than I'll ever know. And I feel exactly the same way about him. He's the one person who'll always be there for me, and has been for a long time. I can't live without this guy, seriously.

I shake my head, returning to the conversation. "No, not at all. Come on in."

If I had a pound for every time he's been around at my house and stolen food from my fridge, I'd probably be a millionaire. So, as per usual, he walks past my living room, straight to my kitchen, opens the fridge and grabs the first thing he can find. Which happens to be an apple.

My eyebrow goes up at him. "Since when we're you into being healthy?"

He rolls his eyes at me, narrowing gradually as he takes a bite. "We're not all thin like you! You should really add on some pounds Bella."

I throw my hands in the air, partly cursing in my mind for bringing up a subject that meant going on about my weight. "I've told you millions of times, Jas, that I have a high metabolism!"

I'm not lying, even the doctors have said so. Yes, Jasper forced me upon them, telling them lies about how I don't eat. I've never met a person that eats more than me! I just burn things up easily, and every single morning I run. I, of course, don't tell Jasper that. It's the only secret I have from him. And I'm quite surprised he's not caught me yet. I just know it would cause a lot of drama. Unneeded drama.

He shrugs. "Still…"

I flop down onto the sofa again, wishing the ground would swallow me up before this conversation got underway again. "Jasper, please…"

He flopped down on the opposite chair. "Okay, okay. It's over, alright?"

I open my eyes and nod quickly. "Yes."

Taking another bite of the apple, I can hear the fruit crushing around in his mouth, and I smile at the simple sound. Everything had effects now, there was nothing natural about sound now, it seemed. Music was meant to be pure. Pure and simple, that's the sort of music I tended to like. But, like most things, I was open to other suggestions.

"How's the songbird today, then?"

Jasper's voice breaks through my reverie. I laugh at the nick name he gave me when I met him half way through high school. I had sung in music class, and he'd ehard me. Ever since, I was 'songbird' to him. And I take it as a compliment, because he thinks I'm quite good. He plays a little guitar, so he sometimes accompanies me. But don't get me wrong - I'm pretty shy. Playing in public isn't really my thing, since the time I did and fainted. I'm just not really for that. I'd have to really trust myself and my voice, and that's something I don't have. The confidence. I've always lacked it. The fact that I might be good, has never passed my lips - only the lips of others. And no matter how much I'm told, I'll never really register it. It annoys Jasper to hell, but that's just part of me. Singing is my dream… but that's exactly what it is. A dream - something that'll never happen. Like I said before I don't believe in fairytales. They just leave you unhappy.

I look at him sternly. "Seriously, Jas, don't call me that."

He sighs. "I'll not stop, until you realise the talent you hold."

"Talent?" I snort.

He leans forward, frustrated. "You'll never see, will you? You hold one of the best voices I've ever heard, but you won't let yourself believe it. Gather some confidence, and welcome to the truth. It's what you're meant to do, truly."

"Whatever."

Like a Godsend, the phone rings, letting me free myself from the conversation that is about to start. I run around the corner into the hall and grab the phone, lifting the receiver into my hand. "Yes?"

A man coughs on the other end. "Ms Bella Swan?"

"Yes."

"This is Sergeant Phillips, I work with your father. We have some bad news."

I feel my heart lurch and my stomach whirl. I gulp down the bile that rises in my throat and tell myself to focus. "What… what has happened?"

"Your father has been in a accident. We need you at Forks Hospital now."

The phone slips out of my hand, and I freeze.

Charlie?

**A/n..hope ye enjoyed it!..if anyone has any ideas let me know and i'll try to incorporate them into the story!..my next update will probably in two or three days!:):)**

**what will happen to Charlie?!?..only i know!!..mwahahaha:):)**


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